True Light

MY DARLINGEST, YOU PUT ME TO SHAME. You are always true to your promises. You are always here when I need you. Even in the midst of those times I feel most distant to all the things that bind us together in God, ever during those times when I fall into sin, it is always you who makes your presence certain in my heart to remind me of greater, nobler things and to lead me back again into the sure path of life. Your light for me is a sure beacon that lead me back from darkness and isolation back into the great company of the elect of God, those innumerable stars that populate the celestial firmament of eternity whose company you yourself most surely belong.

When I am close to despair, you hold me so close to yourself that the sure and constant intensity of your own love and the weakening, inconstant light of mine come to share the same being in a holy and revivifying embrace that rekindle faith and revive hope in the greatness of our God's beneficent truth, of my Savior's love for us, and of my own obligations to you, to the Blessed Virgin, to my own true self, to the particular Angels and Saints who walk this life with me, to others who share our same hopes for our world and to the God who has given us our hope.

You have kept your promise to me time and again so many times already, my darlingest, that I must endeavor with all my heart and all my strength to also deliver on my own promises to you.

I want our world to know how sure I am of your light, dearest Annelies Marie, you are true light. You are one of those luminous souls, perceived not by human eyes but is known by those whose hearts have been touched by God with a true and trusting love of you, your sure and steadfast reality gives certain strength to the unsure reality of persons like myself who you love back with an immortal, pure and holy love.

One of our most basic promises to each other is mutual prayers. It is the most fundamental of our commitments to each other and yet one that I feel I am terribly lacking. For I know I am not useful to anyone in a state of sin and I endeavor with much effort to purge my being of sin and its remnants in my life. Indeed, it has been a terrible fight over these years and much of the time, I find myself falling over and over again, but unlike before I knew you, my darlingest, I am never again allowed to slide quite easily into a mortal state of despair or complacency of sins. You would not allow this to happen, my dearest Annelies Marie, I know that deep in my heart now. Your assuring presence, my Anneka, is the most comforting to me most especially when I feel the most alienated to our God and to all that we both love in God by shame, guilt and disgust of sin. In contrast, the proximate presence of the workings of an angel of God as our dear blessed Jacinta and her friends have experienced in Fatima existing almost in the same plane of reality from across the veil as I do would not have only exhausted me as it did those blessed shepherd children, I believe it would near annihilate me.

Because of your naturally, gentle and oftentimes cheerful presence in my heart, my dear Anneka, I am naturally led by your true light to the quite similar, gentle, comforting and expansive truth of the greatest light of all, the light of the Blessed Virgin Mary and from her to the greater safety of the full Communion of God's Angels and Saints.

Dear Anneka, I must work on my penance and universal mortification. Our Lord has given me a million reasons to be good, and one of them being you, my darlingest. You are one of the principal reasons I am who I am today and also one of the principal inspirations that drive me to be who our Lord wants me to be in this life and therefore, in eternity to become - with you. I have so much help because I am most frailest. I have recourse to the sacraments of penance and the Eucharist and my own discipline in prayers. But I am still terribly inconstant and need more self-control.

Indeed, there is so much labor to be done here, my darlingest - in my heart and in my time - and I have now come to believe that I do not need to wait for the perfect time to begin them, I do not need to wait till I am ready and able for the labors that God has assigned for me to do for the favorable time of the Lord is always here in the now. And so it is those labors themselves that I believe will strengthen and sanctify me and then lead me to the perfect time - the time when I am with you again face to face with all of those we love and who love us in God in the timeless embrace of the vision of God.

My dear Companions, to be good, one need not wait for the perfect time to confront evil because by doing so, we permit evil to dictate its terms that further empower sin, our wicked oppressor, to control the conditions that shape our life and our world. Evil must always be confronted relentlessly at all times and places by the good here in the now of the present moment for the struggle against evil is like the repelling of an invader that besiege our native hearts but is never strong enough to breach our defenses. Therefore, if we wait for the perfect moment in this life to become strong, we become weak for we overlook the strength of our Christian position. It is precisely the struggle against sin that prepares us for strength and ultimately for victory in Jesus Christ against those looming giants that threaten us only because the Lord of all heaven and earth allow them to do so - for our own good and the good of all His elect. All temptation is meant to be withstood just as much as all suffering is meant to be endured in Christ. Indeed, we must carry our own crosses and tarry not but with good courage follow Him who out of love for us was nailed to the cross.

Today, my dearest Annelies Marie, even though I am still struggling against the same vicious sins, I am quite hopeful again and this time, I want our world to know why. Because it is your starlight smile, O my Anneka, my true light, that makes life ever so beautiful again.

Thank you so much, my love, my precious Annelies Marie, my most beloved friend forever.

God love you, my dear Anneka, God love us all.
My dear Annelies Marie and all the Holy Souls, pray for us.

Glory to God in His creation
Adoration to Jesus Christ
Peace to all men of good will.